This Friday night I will be hosting a wine tasting of
Israeli wine at CBS. I’m no wine
industry professional, but I learned a great deal about everything from the
global wine trade to the evolution of wine terminology during a stint as a
researcher for the SFMOMA exhibition How Wine Became Modern, which opened in
2010. I took a particular interest in wine from Israel, as the quality and
number of wineries there has skyrocketed in recent years, and I had the
opportunity to visit some of them during our past two summers. The irony is
that, at the moment, I can neither drink wine nor can I taste much of anything.
I gave up alcohol for chemo; meanwhile, chemo returned the
favor by destroying my taste buds. Bummer. It’s temporary, and it’s not
completely obliterated, just muted, like the volume is turned way down. My
tongue feels like it’s been sandpapered, then polished to a high shine, and all
the flavors just keep slipping off. It’s incredibly disorienting, because smell
is still there, and really smell is much more powerful, and my appetite is
still there, but in between anticipation and satiety lies a gap where flavor
used to reside.
But really, as I learned during my research, to say one
“tastes” wine is actually inaccurate; the experts like to call it “sensory
evaluation” because it involves all of the senses. Eyes register color and
clarity, ears the pop of the cork. The nose can account for hundreds, even
thousands of scents. And much of what we confuse with taste because it happens
in the mouth is actually how something feels: texture, body, astringency. The
tongue can only claim five domains, and of these, only three—sweetness, acidity,
and bitterness—are relevant to wine. It is rather a blunt instrument; and yet,
without it, the meaning of food and drink—of desire, memory, satisfaction,
sustenance—simply ceases to mean quite the same thing.
The most powerful story I’ve ever read about the sense of
taste is that of Grant Achatz, the acclaimed chef of Alinea in Chicago, who was
diagnosed with Stage IV tongue cancer in his early 30s at the peak of his
career. He refused surgery, but chemo
and radiation entirely eviscerated his sense of taste for over a year, at a
time when his restaurant was called by Ruth Reichl of Gourmet the best in the country. He made an incredible recovery,
but it was also remarkable to read about how his sense of taste returned to
him, one flavor dimension at a time—first sweet, then bitter, then salty…like
colors on a palette. His first meal after he could taste sweetness again was
eight courses of desserts. Interviewed now, he says that it was only by losing
his sense of taste, and then gaining it back in these isolated layers, that he
really understands how flavor is composed.
It’s hard to isolate the components of flavor, not to
mention smell—which is what makes wine tasting so difficult, so metaphorical,
and so infuriatingly pompous. I watched Ratatouille with my kids this past
weekend; it’s a favorite of ours, and we love to quote Remy when he’s tutoring
his boorish brother on how to appreciate food: “savor the flavor.” The scene
bursts with colors, fireworks, symphonic chords. It’s this melding, this
combustion that’s exciting. But I got a little insight into the science of the
components of taste when I had the chance to visit UC Davis’s enology program’s
tasting lab. One thing that a researcher there showed my colleagues and I was a
series of Dixie cups with what looked like water in each, but was actually the
isolated qualities of wine: one had sweetness, one acidity, one bitterness, one
astringency. They do this to test each individual’s ability to sense these
factors; many people are actually “non-tasters” when it comes to bitterness. My
friends had no reaction when they put the bitter cup to their mouths; for me,
it was horribly strong. It’s a relatively recent discovery that many people
have these kinds of taste “blindnesses”—taste is, in fact, much more individual
than previously thought.
It’s disarming to have spent a year or two learning all
this, sensitizing my palate, and now to feel like I’m erasing it. I am
grateful, believe me, that I am not really contending with horrendous nausea,
which is a far worse fate. But the loss or attenuation of any sense is
disorienting. When you bite into a banana and it feels like its burning your
tongue, it’s as if the sky was suddenly polka-dotted—what next? The consolation
is imagination; as the article on Achatz notes, “our memories of taste closely
approximate the actual experience of tasting.” Even on an MRI, just thinking
about a flavor lights up the same part of the brain as actually tasting it. It’s
a good thing that I have some great memories of wine in the Galilee last summer
to guide me on Friday night—that and my nose. I’ll have to rename the event
“Wine Sniffing with Erin Hyman.”
Erin, this is Marcey, Amy B's sister. Amy has been keeping me informed about your DX and told me about your blog. I have been reading it. You are so bright and thoughtful and well-versed. I wanted to comment that I too had a recent bout with a loss of sense, although I had anosmia and not just ageusia. Mine was from a viral infection and I have to say it was very frightening. As a caterer, foodie and major diner, the thought of not ever getting my sense of smell and taste back was terrifying. All of my research on viral induced anosmia led me to believe that it could disappear for years. I know chemo-induced loss of sense is definitely temporary, which you mention, but it must be so disorienting never the less. I just wanted to say hello and give you some good vibes from NYC. Please call or email any time.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to smelling the wines with you, Erin. Thanks for this terrific post!
ReplyDeleteWow, thanks for writing this and sharing it with us. How rotten to have your senses working undertime. Made me recall the speaker in Coleridge's Dejection: An Ode (section from its middle excerpted below). But I realized that his senses are intact, but he is no longer moved by them. Your situation feels like an inversion of his. I love the assertion that the consolation is imagination, and I hope that you'll get through this imaginatively.
ReplyDeleteAll this long eve, so balmy and serene,
Have I been gazing on the western sky,
And its peculiar tint of yellow green:
And still I gaze—and with how blank an eye!
And those thin clouds above, in flakes and bars,
That give away their motion to the stars;
Those stars, that glide behind them or between,
Now sparkling, now bedimmed, but always seen:
Yon crescent Moon, as fixed as if it grew
In its own cloudless, starless lake of blue;
I see them all so excellently fair,
I see, not feel, how beautiful they are!
Er,
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to smell, see, hear and touch food, wine and more with you next week!
xoxo,
Er